Oh no, a chavalanche!

Or as I like to call it, a nice day out at the Peckham multiplex. Without a doubt one of the worst cinematic experiences in London. When I'm absolutely down to my last brass farthing and the only thing in my pockets is lint then I will go there to watch a film.

Every fucker piles into whatever seat they can find in sub-zero air-conditioned temperatures to watch the latest blockbuster. But you can only watch them because you sure as fuck can't hear them. This is partly because the sound is turned way down low and the audience volume is as high as you get. Yes, why not pay four quid (at least it isn't too expensive) and listen to pissketeers chat away on their mobile phones, black girls have a full volume conversation with their equally chavvy and idiotic friends about what they are going to do during the week and see small children run unattended up and down the aisles whilst their fuckheaded parents sit and watch the film without the slightest sense of embarrassment.

Why, oh why, do people go to the cinema if they aren't interested in watching films? If you have four quid in your arse pocket and you want a chat then go to a Costa or Caffe Nero but don't ruin everybody else's enjoyment you inconsiderate cunt bubbles.