Video Store Memoirs 5

Haven't done these in a while.

This one is about my former video store boss. He is a piece of work is one way to describe him.

Although I prefer the term cunt

***

After several months of working at a new store, after leaving the old one under threat of death, I realised that some of the floats were down at the end of the day. It nearly always happened to the part-timers and had occurred whilst they worked with myself and the boss, so it didn't occur to me that any theft was taking place, in addition to their own incompetence.

But one day I had to cover for a part-timer and work a fourteen hour shift. I worked the morning shift on my own and my boss came in for the afternoon. I told my boss that I was taking an extra hour for lunch and counted my float. He watched me and asked, 'Is it okay?'

I nodded, replying, 'It's all there, see you later.'

And off I went for a nice leisurely two hour lunch at home, courtesy of my mum (as I was still living at home at that point). When I got back to the store I opened the till and started counting the float.

My boss looked at me with alarm. 'What're you doing?' he asked, before adding, 'You've already counted it.'

'Sorry, force of habit I guess.'

'Yeah, well customers need serving,' he said forcefully.

I looked round. The store was nearly empty. This made me slightly suspicious, so I continued my float count. Even though my boss grumbled about customer service I continued my count. When I finished it I looked at him and said, 'G___, my float's short.'

'What?'

'My float's short. By a tenner.'

'So?'

'It wasn't short when I left.'

'What are you saying?'

I looked around and smiled. 'I'm taking another half hour break...'

'But..'

'...and when I return, this float is right. Right?'

My boss said nothing, the pink flush burning his cheeks said it all anyway. I turned around and went to the amusement arcade across the street from the store and proceeded to lose a tenner on the fruit machines.

When I returned to to the store I recounted the float. It was still ten pounds short. 'G___, I'm still a tenner short.'

'That's your problem,' he argued.

'You saw me count it. You saw it was right.'

My boss shook his head and disagreed, 'Er, in the rush of the afternoon I don't remember now.'

I seethed silently. It was his word against mine, and his word was more likely to be one they believed. Then I had a brainwave; a way to force my boss to put the missing tenner back in the till. I decided to play my last card and play it hard. 'Do you mind if I make a call to head office?'

'What? Why?'

'Well, to inform them of the problem with my float. I also want to ask them which of us was working with the part-timers when the money has come up short.'

'I'd prefer you didn't.'

'Well, I'm not really asking.'

My boss pulled open a drawer angrily and said, 'We're missing scissors. I need you to do that first. Go and buy some from down the road.'

I smiled at him. 'Okay, G____, whatever you say. My phone call can wait.' And I left the store, making sure to take my own sweet time whilst buying scissors.

When I arrived back at the store it was busy–very busy–so I decided that was the perfect time to recount my float. My boss flashed me a seething glance, his face turning crimson in the process, but said nothing. After counting it I turned and said sweetly, 'My mistake I guess.'

'So it's right then?'

'Bang on!'

He nodded. 'Then don't ever pull a stunt like that again.'

And for the rest of my time there (barely a couple of months) there wasn't a single problem with missing tenners or twenties from the day's takings. But my relationship with my boss became distinctly frosty. We barely spoke and games of Pool and drinks after work became a thing of the past.

After I left the store I didn't see him again until I was working in London, some five years later!

But that's another story.