Resolutions
In the spirit of New Year I'm going to make my resolutions. Things I'm either going to resolve in my life or things that I am going to change outright. These are what I am planning to do.
1) Get in shape: this year I said that I would lose weight. And I have done that. This year I shifted a stone and a half in weight. I have even managed not to gain too much weight over Xmas (less than a quarter of a stone). So now, with all that in mind, I could either do with losing another half a stone or just toning up what I have already. 2007 is the year where I see my abdominals again.
2) Finish some writing: I have been writing screenplays and novels for more years than I care to remember, but I have never finished anything - a few short pieces of work excepted. However, I am ninety plus pages into a novel and three quarters of the way through a screenplay. In 2007 I will finish these pieces of work. Getting them sold or published is irrelevant, that's not what this is about. It is about finishing something I have started.
3) Get out debt: my cocksucking, motherfucking debts are the biggest impediment to my life. They weigh down my ambitions and make me think twice about doing anything risky with my life. I know I should say, "Fuck The Man." but my parents brought me up with far too many morals and a far too clearly delineated sense of responsibility. Plus, I'm not a cunt - my debts are my own and I'm not going to leave them behind for my parents or others to deal with. But I am going to whittle them away this year, even if I can't get rid of them completely. However, the fact that I will have an extra £275 a month if I cleared all my debts is one hell of an incentive. That is the equivalent of a six grand pay rise (after tax)!
4) Swear less: now this is going to be really, really difficult. I come from an area where everybody swears... a lot! My mates swear... a lot, and even my girlfriend uses the word cunt regularly... because of me. And this is nothing to be proud of! I see no reason why a university educated man, like myself, can't communicate without continuous use of the words fuck and cunt. It is time I started communicating without the need to resort to a constant stream of vile language. I suspect this resolution may not last very long.
5) Appreciate my girlfriend more: I really should do this. She's the best thing that ever happened to me. And even if the changes I make are so subtle she barely even recognises that there have been changes... at least I'll know.
6) Make more money: not because I want more shit. I'm at that point in my life where having stuff really doesn't matter any more. No, the reason I want to make more money is because it will help me facilitate point 3 that much faster.
7) Spend less: I buy all manner of shit that I really don't need. I piss away money with almost nonchalant abandon! 2007 is the year where I say to myself, "Fuck the Pret mocha; fuck the lunch sandwich; fuck the DVDs I really don't need; fuck the books I want to buy, despite the fact I haven't even finished all the ones I already own and fuck the drunken visits to fast food restaurants when I stagger out of the pub." I need to learn - once and for all - that money really doesn't grow on trees.
8) Read more: you can never read too much (within reason of course). And only books that I already own. No new books allowed!
9) Learn a language: this year I started learning Spanish. I know some basic conversational stuff. In 2007 I intend to become proficient.
10) Travel more: self explanatory really!
I don't know how many of these I will manage in the next year, but I know I'm going to give them a hell of a try. These are all achievable goals. What's the point if you don't at least make an effort?
Ultimately it's the effort, rather than the end result, that makes you a better person.
1) Get in shape: this year I said that I would lose weight. And I have done that. This year I shifted a stone and a half in weight. I have even managed not to gain too much weight over Xmas (less than a quarter of a stone). So now, with all that in mind, I could either do with losing another half a stone or just toning up what I have already. 2007 is the year where I see my abdominals again.
2) Finish some writing: I have been writing screenplays and novels for more years than I care to remember, but I have never finished anything - a few short pieces of work excepted. However, I am ninety plus pages into a novel and three quarters of the way through a screenplay. In 2007 I will finish these pieces of work. Getting them sold or published is irrelevant, that's not what this is about. It is about finishing something I have started.
3) Get out debt: my cocksucking, motherfucking debts are the biggest impediment to my life. They weigh down my ambitions and make me think twice about doing anything risky with my life. I know I should say, "Fuck The Man." but my parents brought me up with far too many morals and a far too clearly delineated sense of responsibility. Plus, I'm not a cunt - my debts are my own and I'm not going to leave them behind for my parents or others to deal with. But I am going to whittle them away this year, even if I can't get rid of them completely. However, the fact that I will have an extra £275 a month if I cleared all my debts is one hell of an incentive. That is the equivalent of a six grand pay rise (after tax)!
4) Swear less: now this is going to be really, really difficult. I come from an area where everybody swears... a lot! My mates swear... a lot, and even my girlfriend uses the word cunt regularly... because of me. And this is nothing to be proud of! I see no reason why a university educated man, like myself, can't communicate without continuous use of the words fuck and cunt. It is time I started communicating without the need to resort to a constant stream of vile language. I suspect this resolution may not last very long.
5) Appreciate my girlfriend more: I really should do this. She's the best thing that ever happened to me. And even if the changes I make are so subtle she barely even recognises that there have been changes... at least I'll know.
6) Make more money: not because I want more shit. I'm at that point in my life where having stuff really doesn't matter any more. No, the reason I want to make more money is because it will help me facilitate point 3 that much faster.
7) Spend less: I buy all manner of shit that I really don't need. I piss away money with almost nonchalant abandon! 2007 is the year where I say to myself, "Fuck the Pret mocha; fuck the lunch sandwich; fuck the DVDs I really don't need; fuck the books I want to buy, despite the fact I haven't even finished all the ones I already own and fuck the drunken visits to fast food restaurants when I stagger out of the pub." I need to learn - once and for all - that money really doesn't grow on trees.
8) Read more: you can never read too much (within reason of course). And only books that I already own. No new books allowed!
9) Learn a language: this year I started learning Spanish. I know some basic conversational stuff. In 2007 I intend to become proficient.
10) Travel more: self explanatory really!
I don't know how many of these I will manage in the next year, but I know I'm going to give them a hell of a try. These are all achievable goals. What's the point if you don't at least make an effort?
Ultimately it's the effort, rather than the end result, that makes you a better person.
posted by The Nothing Man at 31.12.06
5 Comments:
Say it ain't so. No more swearing? I say it IS big and it IS clever. Where would your public be without their daily dose of cunts?
Damn the new year and everybody's urge to make themselves better people.
Who am I kidding.
I called three tourists 'utter cunts' to their faces yesterday.
They were walking shoulder-to-shoulder along one of Cunt London's piss streak thin pavements.
That resolution is already dead...
But all the others are still going strong.
And with that dose of swearing I say, 'Hello, JPT!'
Huzzah for swearing!
Normal service has been resumed (as I have confirmed from your subsequent post on Big Brother)
Hola chico! Como esta?
Shoot... I'm too tired to speak Spanish on a Monday morning. I'll try again some other time.
I think resolutions are great... and coming up with a whole list is smart -- even if you manage to follow through on one of them, you're doing well.
Believe it or not, my resolution this year is to spend more time naked. Weird. But seriously.
Muy bien, LFM. Tax related anguish notwithstanding, of course!
Nakedness is a very good resolution and I commend you on it!
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