All I want for Xmas is...

Spam!

And fucking loads of it.

Yes. I hadn't checked my email for a couple of days and checked it a few minutes ago.

75 messages...

Every single fucking bastard one of them was spam!

Maris Q Piper (obviously related to Billie and the potato), Gesticulating V Wildly, Dennis Hopper (whose career is obviously on the rocks if he's resorted to sending me spam) and another email telling me that 'Five inches is not enough for a lady.'

I wish I could get my hands on these bastards.

I guarantee they would rue the day they messed with my inbox!