Grace Kelly

Today I can't stop. Every fucking thing is throwing me into an apopletic rage.

Including this fucking song. I fucking hate it.

Somebody just started talking about how catchy and clever it is.

What?

Catchy? Yes, I'll admit that. But fucking Influenza is catchy and we don't all rush out to buy into that, do we?

But clever? All this song consists of is one long pissy whine about the fact that record companies don't like poor, overlooked, song-writing genius Mika and his puppy dog eagerness to please them!

Why don't you like me? Aaahhhh, why don't you like me? Aaaaaaaahhhh, we don't you like me? Please like me. Aaaaaaah-aaaah-ahhhhh why don't you like me?

Maybe it's because you're a whiny, castrato, Leo Sayer haired, lanky streak of piss steam with an axe to grind.

Well, that's why I don't like you anyway.

Also, this song reminds me of the Scissor Sisters too. And I hate them also. They're like the Village People but with a straight woman in the band.

Right. Rant Over.

Goodbye!

And not in the Frank Sinatra way.

Novel

The reason I'm taking time out (except today where I just had to vent spleen) is because I am trying to write a novel.

It won't change the world. It won't change the face of literature. And it won't change the face of the bestseller lists even if a publisher is kind enough to publish the thing.

However, it has changed the course of my life.

My life has been an unending sequence of commas, en dashes, semi-colons and colons. But no full stops.

I've never finished a single major project I've started. All have remained in stasis or fallen into disrepair through a combination of apathy and doubt.

But this project is different. It has been written quickly and the story has twisted and turned in ways I never even imagined. And I'm gripped. I want to know what happens to the characters. Hell, part of me does know, but it is only when the words flesh out the bones of the story that the tale comes alive.

And this tale is coming alive.

And blogging is getting in the way of the story. So, for now, the blog has to be put on hold (with the odd monthly update or extreme anger overload).

If I continue writing at 1000+ words a day, which is what's happening since I've stopped blogging over the last two or three days, then I reckon the first draft of the novel will be done in two and a half to three months.

I can't wait.

So, for now, this is a real goodbye!

Back. But only temporarily

My day's been too bad, too repugnant and plain old fucking shite for me to leave it unposted!

I've just discovered how the 'terrorists' will beat Britain.

It won't be with a nuke, a chemical weapon, a dirty bomb or a plain old fashioned suicide bomber.

No. They will beat us with the British snowflake.

You see, our snowflakes are different. They are strange and dangerous. They have powers!

Don't believe me? Well, in Moscow, Prague, Budapest, Warsaw, New York, etc. etc. they have snowfall pretty much every winter, and in abundance I might add, and yet their cities continue to function. They might not get to work as quickly, but the delay - if any - is minimal.

But not here. No, here in London our snowflakes are able to stop overland trains dead in their tracks. Buses are slowed and cowed by their awesome power. Hell, the British snowflake is so powerful it is able to burrow through the concrete, soil and rock in order to stop the tube trains and throw the traffic system into disarray. Our snow can take planes out of the sky and bring cities – oh, there are other cities in Britain beside London, by the way – to a halt.

If you see British snow run from it, hide from it but whatever you do don't try to tackle it. It is seditious, sinister, sly, subversive and strange and, on this alliterative note, it is plain old snow.

And it has ground London to a halt.

God, this city is pathetic!

Taking some time out

I'm taking some time out from the blogging.

Well, maybe a big catch-up blog every month or so but otherwise these pages won't change too much for a couple of months.

I need to concentrate on my novel, and I can't blog regularly and write a novel at the same time (well, maybe I could if I was freelance - but I'm not). The novel has priority because it is at an important stage in its development; basically it is at that point where it will either genuinely become a novel or just turn into a load of shit!

I will, of course, be checking up on other people's blogs and dropping my random comments on them from time-to-time.

So I won't be disappearing completely.

Just for a while...

So to my three regular readers (and other random lurkers) I bid you a temporary adieu!

New Blogger - fucking shit - an open letter to some world dominating cunts

Fucking Google, you world dominating, spoil something that didn't need changing, useless fucktroids.

I can no longer see who has been commenting on my site since changing over to the "new and improved Blogger". Fucking pile of faeces Blogger, more like!

Now, yes, generally I know who is commenting. However if there is somebody new and I can't link to them, because they're anonymous, then it makes it difficult for me to check out their blog.

Anybody know how to solve this problem?

Or am I, as I always suspected I was, a complete and utter luddite twat!