Critters
For some reason I am watching this godawful, wretched film. It is currently on BBC1.
I remember watching this Gremlins crossed with sci-fi abomination when I was barely a teenager.
And I remember thinking it was shit even then.
Now, with a skinful of booze in my system and hatred in my heart, I realise that this is one of the worst films I've ever seen.
Right now, two aliens (who resemble two gay extras who stumbled punch-drunk out of Duran Duran's Wild Boys video) are busting up a redneck ten-pin bowling joint. I'm watching it with tears in my eyes. This is all there is to watch on TV.
This film generated three sequels.
Which means that there are people out there who actually liked it...
I think I'm going to break out the methylated spirits.
There is no hope for humanity.
I remember watching this Gremlins crossed with sci-fi abomination when I was barely a teenager.
And I remember thinking it was shit even then.
Now, with a skinful of booze in my system and hatred in my heart, I realise that this is one of the worst films I've ever seen.
Right now, two aliens (who resemble two gay extras who stumbled punch-drunk out of Duran Duran's Wild Boys video) are busting up a redneck ten-pin bowling joint. I'm watching it with tears in my eyes. This is all there is to watch on TV.
This film generated three sequels.
Which means that there are people out there who actually liked it...
I think I'm going to break out the methylated spirits.
There is no hope for humanity.
posted by The Nothing Man at 30.12.06
3 Comments:
I'll see your Critters, and raise you a Fright Night. It was on the Sci-Fi channel when I was staying at my Mums a couple of days ago, and I was excited as hell to be watching it.
I had the computer game on Commodore 64. I even had glow in the dark fangs and used to watch it with them in.
I remembered a few things about it, namely Roddy McDowall, and the hero's strange sidekick mate with an unusual warbly voice (who from the looks of his IMDB profile, went on to do a hell of a lot of gay porn. I also recall - when seeing them again a few days ago - some gory effects.
But that was it.
Sod all in between.
I was amazed that my teenage self was able to stay interested in the huge void of nothingness that took place between action scenes. I stayed with the film only through some kind of misplaced duty.
And the love interest in the film, I noticed, went on to become the neighbour's wife in Married With Children, and consequently, as I believe I've heard, a raving dyke.
So, that's the Legacy of Fright Night: Bored audiences watching teenage actors before they came out.
Erm, I should add I was 'excited as hell' because it was one of my favourite films when I was 12.
I remember Shite Night...
I never want to see that abomination ever again.
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