Cunt London
'Corrrrrr blarmey, Meeerrreee Poppppinnssssaah, Laaarrrnnndun's thaa besss faarrrkinnn sittteee orrrnn the faarrrsss orvvv thaa urrrrffff.'
For those not blessed with the ability to understand English accents and dialects, that was a mockney way of saying, 'Cor blimey, Mary Poppins, London is the best fucking city on the face of the earth.'
I say, 'Is it shite!'
It isn't even the best city in Europe.
It's way too expensive: rent, food, drink, theatre, cinema, transport, it's all too way too expensive if you don't know the place like the back of your hand. The transport is fucking awful, even the buses are turning back to shit now that Ken has put too many of them on the roads. The people are miserable and politeness is at a premium. It lives off its history to the detriment of modern culture. And the place is awash with arse clown tourists who clog free movement in the streets like too much shit in a toilet u-bend.
And yet, oddly, I love the fucking place.
I'm one of those miserable bastards who roam its streets, and I know some of it like the back of my hand - and could find you a cheap cinema, restaurant, theatre deal or booze den with an insoucient flick of my wrist. The place is flawed beyond all belief and yet, despite all this, people come here and never leave, knowing that very few places in Britain come close: Edinburgh, Bristol and certain parts of Manchester and Glasgow springing immediately to mind. Nearly all my friends live here and we feed like parasites off each others rage and misery. London, for all its flaws, is now my home.
Cunt London - he says, wiping a bitter, salty tear from his eye - I love you, you fucking bitch!
For those not blessed with the ability to understand English accents and dialects, that was a mockney way of saying, 'Cor blimey, Mary Poppins, London is the best fucking city on the face of the earth.'
I say, 'Is it shite!'
It isn't even the best city in Europe.
It's way too expensive: rent, food, drink, theatre, cinema, transport, it's all too way too expensive if you don't know the place like the back of your hand. The transport is fucking awful, even the buses are turning back to shit now that Ken has put too many of them on the roads. The people are miserable and politeness is at a premium. It lives off its history to the detriment of modern culture. And the place is awash with arse clown tourists who clog free movement in the streets like too much shit in a toilet u-bend.
And yet, oddly, I love the fucking place.
I'm one of those miserable bastards who roam its streets, and I know some of it like the back of my hand - and could find you a cheap cinema, restaurant, theatre deal or booze den with an insoucient flick of my wrist. The place is flawed beyond all belief and yet, despite all this, people come here and never leave, knowing that very few places in Britain come close: Edinburgh, Bristol and certain parts of Manchester and Glasgow springing immediately to mind. Nearly all my friends live here and we feed like parasites off each others rage and misery. London, for all its flaws, is now my home.
Cunt London - he says, wiping a bitter, salty tear from his eye - I love you, you fucking bitch!
posted by The Nothing Man at 6.12.06
2 Comments:
Born and bred into this evil shitpit of whores, Romanian murderers (probably), and parasitic obese inbred Landed Gentry with their butlers and clandestine crack habit.
I too wouldn't have it any other way. No fahkin' chance, Guv'nah! Gimme a good old fashioned garrotting with piannah wire rahnd the back of the Battle Cruiser with a gang a' Chelsea Headhun'ers any day a' the week.
Cahnt.
You two slay me. Seriously.
My mother was a Londoner... came to Canada as a war bride (God that makes me sound old... I was a change of life baby for her).
I have visited your fair, yet annoyingly expensive and self-righteous city several times... but the first time was memorable. I was a university student spending the Easter holiday at a youth hostel near the British Museum. Walked everywhere, drank far too much, and had the best sex of my life.
Ahhhh.... London.
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